WHAT-THE-FUCK STORIES.

Dude.. I still am surprised by the paths life ends up taking me on.

At least, I'm happy. :)

Ohgod, I have never been so busy in my life. D:

I wish I could choose who to fall in love with.


It'd be you.

Obama's being inaugurated tomorrow.


(:

Happy Halloween, people.

Ugh.

So, I fucked up my eye.


I scratched off the outer layer of my eye, so now I'm stuck in glasses for four days.


Wicked lame.

I love music.

The melodies, the rhythms, the way your body just wants to be ALIVE!


Ohmannnn.



But, what I hate?



Is when my band sucks.


My heart like dropped to the ground.



We sucked today.


I hope we get better!


BLEHH.ajsdflkjadsf.

I'm home.


The trip was exhausting. Spain wasn't what I thought it'd be.


Oh, and my plane got struck by lightning.



WOOO.


Fo' rizzle.

WOOO!


One more week, and I'm out of this hell hole.


XDDD

We met at the Green, and decided to chase rainstorms because it wasn't pouring anymore.


We ended up at Dighton Park.

Sitting, just talking for a few hours.


I've never been with a boy that I like, that we can just sit and talk. Mostly, there is hooking up involved. It's nice.




And, then there was a kiss. At the top of the slide. In the rain, just sitting there.



It was one of the most romantic things I've ever done.


I'm such a fucking sap.


(Oh, and you know what? I'm not locking the good ones. Feel jealous, bitchezzzz.)

Every entry after this is locked at this point.


Those of you, interferring in my life.. you can all go to hell.


Seriously, rot motherfuckers.

Oh, my heart hurts.

Junior year, you were amazing.


You helped me strive past a lot of my previous shackles, and somehow I'm better off for it.

Things changed me. Again, I feel like there are two different Jens. Even my picture looks different. Tired. Pained. Eyebrows Thicker (:P).


I learned anger. And happiness... all over again.


Please, don't let things get as fucked up in this next relationship. God, Buddha? Anyone out there?


I can't handle falling in love with a disaster again.



Kate posed an interesting question to me.

I was like "Why do I always miss Kevin the most? Was it because he's my best relationship?"

"As opposed to what? THE LAST ONE?"

And, I laughed a bit.



I don't know. I guess I always have had trouble moving on. I don't really know how to cope. I was raised in a world, where I had to block out anything bad that happened. And, then watch it crash to pieces when it all fell in front of me.

Still... so many questions in my head. I guess of all the breakups.. the last one was the worst. And, my heart is -still- aching, and I feel like such a freak. I can't even describe what it's like; feeling like you can't trust your own thoughts and feelings. Having everyone stare at you, because you punched a kid in the mall. And, as cliche as it sounds... I still think it's because I -care- too much. I don't get angry like that unless I really care about someone. And, heh... look where that led me. It was like when I told Jenna to fuck off, and then years ago when I told David to never talk to me again. I don't mean it, I don't. I just.. hate feeling so much for anyone. It's not normal. No one else ever cares like this. They move on, find new best friends, new girlfriends, a new way to start life. Drugs, even! Maybe there's something to moving on that I have yet to discover yet. Maybe, I just haven't had enough relationships. Maybe I haven't been hurt enough by the world to just not care. Maybe everyone else who doesn't care, just has been hurt too much?

That's what I'd like to think. Too damaged. Too bruised.

I don't know. I almost cried over a myspace comment Kevin left me.

"Even after all the things we've been through.. we're still friends.

Thank you."


It shook me. It just... was so heartbreaking. I was like "Hi, I miss you. Let's hang out before you run away forever, and leave me here. We were best friends once.. Can we try again? You still make me smile bigger than anyone I know, and I feel like you're the only one that actually knows me. Please?"

But, not really. He'd run away again, scared by the crazy side of me who cares still.


Blehh.. I'm such a teenage drama queen.


Oh, Sean's still making me smile a bit. (:


Maybe it won't end horrifically (not).




I guess we'll see.




Oh, and I could use me some Numb-ers. Anyone else?


You're lucky I love you Ian. I'd be high off my ass right now.

Why is that when I delve into a new relationship, I miss the old?

We kissed. One of those simple pecks.


But, wow. It made me smile so much.

AHH!

Enemy number 11902348239048230894.


I think it's Sam Olney. :P


This might get interesting.

So, I had an awkward encounter with one of Christian's friends last night.

I waved at her, and she just looked right through me.

I don't know if she didn't recognize me, or if she hated me. Granted, if she'd said anything, I probably would have punched Chris in the face again, hahahaha.


GOD, I'm crazy. And, sorta smell. (:
AND SHE CAN READ THIS! EVEN FUNNIER.

Maybe I'll screen comments..... *ponders*

Thank god, some people still love me. I'd be dead if I didn't have Ian to take videos of me, not knowingly.


Oh, and some dumb boy left me chocolate and visited me at work.

It was niiice. <333


I kinda like him.

I kinda like him a lot.

I have too much shit to do.


So, if I could stop thinking about him, that'd be great.


I've reached the epitome of pathetic. I mean, I latched onto Scott's arm, because suddenly I felt like I was going to just drop dead from looking at him.



Ohwell, new boy to see tomorrow? Maybe?


We'll see how it goes.

Do you think of me, like I think of you?





Or, is she your only thoughts?

What's considered love?



Hell, what's considered sex?








I can't decided. I'm too confused.

Hi,

I know what you're going through, and I'm sorry you have to feel it.